The truth is hard to come by and sometimes when we do, it’s even harder to swallow. We may even find ourselves fighting against it. The funny thing about truth is it never goes away. It will always be there shining brightly. We can try so hard to cover it or hide it in shrouds, but the truth will always find a way to shine through anyways.
So, twice now I’ve had a bit of truth bestowed upon me. On two separate occasions, by two separate people who have no knowledge of each other have told me, due to my divorce circumstances I am not in any position to seek a relationship. I am told I need to focus on myself and getting sturdy on my feet. My focus and my worry needs to be on me. Now I can try and say that it’s exactly what I’m doing. However, if I get down to the nitty gritty truth and be honest with myself, I havent. Yes I focus on myself from time to time and do what i can to take care of myself but am I my main priority. The answer is a resounding no.
I can make excuses all day long about how I’ve only known caring for others, which is true, but now I have the opportunity to make that change. I have the glorious opportunity to be me. To do things I want to do and take care of just myself. This may sound selfish and it may in some way be selfish, but honestly, are we not entitled to some selfishness? To care for ourselves? How exciting could it be to just be me? I am capable of whatever I set my mind to. I know this and I’ve shown this time and time again in my life.
So, as I sit here drinking a beer at my local watering hole, I smile. I feel privileged. I’m nervous and excited for the unknown future. I am making a plan in what I’m going to do next. And the scary part is, for anyone who tries to stand in my way, they don’t know what’s going to hit them. No one is going to hold me back from doing what I know I am fully capable of.
Until next time…