This isn’t true for every child but I’ve come to realize in my household, Routines are essential. My Husband, who is currently sitting behind me as I write this, says they are essential because he doesn’t like change. We won’t discuss this in any further detail. He’s a butt. However, for children and especially in my stepdaughter’s case, its a form of security.
For some children its perfectly fine to do things on a whim, and occasionally we do. However, for the most part we try to stick to a basic routine. We do this activity at this time for such and such reasons. For Rayne, she knows when its her time with us these are the things we do on a regular basis. She knows whats going to happen when and feels a part of the family as well as it helps her feel safe and secure. This is essential, especially because she does bounce back and forth on a regular basis.
It was the same thing for my brother when he was younger. Children who are from divorced families sometimes need that sort of security to help them maintain a sense of normalcy in their lives. To have that security blanket for them to fall back on.
With the recent birth of our son, we have had to integrate some changes into our routine. Sometimes, instead of me giving her a bath, Daddy has to step in on bath duty. She’s slowly getting into the habit and understanding why sometimes Daddy and I have to switch off. Since she is such a bigger helper, I have started to utilize her help and bring her into helping take care of brother. This also helps her to feel needed and special because she gets to play the role of “Big Sister” since she doesn’t get to be with us all the time.
So, one routine since she’s here Tuesdays and Thursday around 7pm, I get Hunter ready for bed. She comes with me. We pick out his PJ’s, change his diaper and generally ready him to be put in his crib. Once he is changed and clothed we will sit in their room and read a book while he feeds. She will sometimes read or she will hold the book for me and I will read to the both of them. She really likes to help in the little forms. On Tuesday night we actually had bath night and she was right beside me wanting to help bathe Hunter.
Its these little things that really help her to feel like she is truly a part of the family and really fit into her role as big sis. Each child is different and needs something to help them feel like they are wanted, needed and loved. This is what works for us.
Till Next Time